changeit | 02 ☢ hits you so much harder than you thought

spam } snafu

[He doesn't know whether to be grateful or worried that he got paired up so quickly. It's something to distract him from Simon, at least - Simon being here and being Simon all over everyone. It isn't that he's not happy to see him, it's just that - well. Politics make things complicated, and Simon wears politics like one of his bulky sweaters.]

[Snafu, he thinks, is not much for politics. Snafu, he thinks, is very simple while being very complicated all at one time. Snafu is going to be trouble.]

[This was something he knew already, but reading the file makes it certain. Never mind the fact that on reading it he feels a little dirty, as if he's become privy to someone's worst, darkest secrets. Which is more or less the case. Made worse by the fact that he doesn't think Snafu will care that he knows.]

[In the end, after a few hours of lying in bed thinking about too many things all at once, he decides to just get it over with. Sits in the mirror and carefully removes the mousse, because there's nothing worse than being caught in an in-between state. His anxiety is at an all-time high, his heart would be palpitating if it could, and now he's walking to Snafu's door. He can feel how pale he is, see the white of his eyes as other people can see them. But he doesn't stop until he's knocking.]

voice } gene

Hiya. I have to ask you something.

[It's not a nice something, exactly, but it's. He just has to ask it, all right.]

spam } enclosure

[After meeting with Snaf - a mixed bag, as he expects these meetings might be for a while - he wants to walk. To be alone, or as alone as he can be in a place like this, but to be outside, too - as outside as you can be indoors. The obvious solution to this is programming a wide, empty field with sparse treeline in the distance into the Enclosure and go for a long walk.]

[His gait is still not quite steady, his skin deathly pale, eyes dead white. But he's smiling in the face of the wind, even if this place isn't natural and he knows it.]

text } admiral

Dear Admiral,

You could've just asked.

For Steve, charcoal pencils of different softness. Pastels, in case he likes them.
For Eugene, foods he's used to. Some little figurine landmarks of Mobile, Alabama. A picture of what it looks like now.
For Snafu, his favorite cigarettes. Foods he's used to. Hand sanitizer.
For T'Pol, something to do with her hands. A stress ball? Sweaters.
For Philip, that board game we made.
For Chromie, book repair equipment. A nice sweater that fits well, plain with bulky knit. Forest green.
For Simon, two Bibles, one antique one, a nice one, gilt and all, one to mark up. I'll make the other part of his gift myself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Came back. From the dead. Like my body came alive again, walking around like normal.

[A beat.]

You think I'm lying, don't you. [He can't blame Gene, really. It sounds like bullshit.]

No. [It still sounds crazy, but:] After everything I've heard about here, I believe you.

Is that... normal, where you're from?

Normal? No, it's not normal. It's - there are a lot of us, but not many compared to the rest of everyone. And not as many as there used to be.

[He hesitates, here, not sure if he should say anything more, if explaining it in detail will make Gene think that people like the HVF were right and people like Kieren should be put to death; but then, he might as well know now, shouldn't he, whether or not he's talking to someone who'd hate what he is? Maybe it's just Simon's influence making him think that, but he doesn't want to lie now, not even by omission.]

People killed us. Because we were dangerous, before we were medicated. When we were rabid. We hurt people. I hurt people.

On purpose?

[He still doesn't sound afraid, or pissed off, or judgmental. Wary, now, but not much else. If Kieren's a warden, he's got to be a decent person, right?]

No! No, no, no. Not on purpose.

Our brains - we were messed up. Wrong in the head. We're all on medicine for it, now. By law.

[There's some unease in what he's saying, now. Uncertainty as to whether he should have told Gene after all. Is he going to end up being just like all the others, unwilling to listen, quick to brand them all monsters?]

[He's not, he's just... trying to process all of it. It's a lot to take in, and so much of the stuff he's seen and experienced here often still feels very, very surreal.

So he's quiet for a moment, still trying to parse it.]

But you're really alive again. Or are you- [Is this offensive to ask?] Somethin' like a zombie?

[Oh. Thank god. That's so much easier than having to explain it.]

Yes. Exactly like that.

Only we're not supposed to use that word. Er, living people aren't. According to . . . some of us. The Risen.

It's complicated, right, but yes, you've got the basic principle down exactly.

Alright.

[And... that's apparently all Gene has to add or say or comment on about this for the time being. Don't call him a zombie, he's alive but kind of not, okay. Sure. We can work with this.]

All right.

[Kieren just . . . exhales. Nothing bad's happened. He's not being attacked. Nobody's hurt.]

[He thinks he just did the right thing.]

You're the first person I told. Besides infirmary staff. And - well, Snafu.

I'm not gonna go blabbin' about it to anyone, if you want to keep it quiet.

[It's Kieren's business, and while Gene's not all that certain (okay, he's pretty sure) Snafu won't keep it to himself, he can try and help the other guy out by doing this if he wants him to.]

No. You can - you can tell if you want to. He will.

Anyway, I can't keep it a secret much longer.

Alright. [You can't see it, but he's smiling a little, maybe shyly. Testing the waters.]

Don't know who I'd tell, but.

[There's a smile in Kieren's voice, too. A softness.]

Could tell Snafu again. Go round robin until everybody knows a bunch of times.

We could do that. Make sure everyone's got the story straight.

That seems like the most straightforward way. You tell him in one ear, I'll tell him in the other.

02 ☢ hits you so much harder than you thought

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